im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
These tits shall not be calmed
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