Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
