My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.