Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
