maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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