guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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