I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
