I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
