I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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