She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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