I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize