in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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