Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
