You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
