His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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