$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
