Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
