i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My ass is underappreciated
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
