Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
