just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
