before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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