omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize