Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize