If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize