I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
