im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize