new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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