I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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