try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
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That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.