so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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