I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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