You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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