so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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