i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
