Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
