somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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