she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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