So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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