hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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