Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
