How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
