Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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