Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
