yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
