what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
