Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
