covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
