If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
