ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
