I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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