And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
