i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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