We named our party play list daddy issues
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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