We named our party play list daddy issues
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm just crazy horny about you
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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