Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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