So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
