All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
